Sparky Shambles Shame for Shezzer

  Dramatic news is emerging from Stevenage Football Club that Teddy Sheringham may have unwittingly bought the wrong player. An unverified source within the dressing room has been quoted as saying that the club originally intended to buy the Manchester United legend, Mark Hughes. Instead, Teddy somehow managed to acquire the Morecambe and Bury legend, Mark Hughes. 

The source says that the mix up started when Kevin Watson was recounting to Sheringham how Brian Clough had brought in an aging Dave Mackay to bolster the Derby County defence. Mackay’s experience and old head were subsequently pivotal in Derby winning the title. 

After a number of failed attempts to contact both Clough and Mackay, the Stevenage manager instead turned his attention to the former Welsh international as someone who could play in a floating non-marking role within the back four. 


Alarm bells didn’t start ringing until the home game with Notts County. The club source told The Daily Stevenage that Teddy suddenly realised that his new acquisition not only looked older than the 51 year old former Barcelona player, but he also seemed a lot less mobile. “People accuse Teddy of having been out of the game for too long” he said, “but Teddy soon dispelled these accusations by recognising that Mark Hughes wasn’t the same Mark Hughes who once scored a bicycle kick against Spain at the Racecourse Ground”.


Fortunately for Stevenage, Mark Hughes, 28, was versatile enough to play in the floating non-marking role designed for his older namesake. 

Fishing rod

Stevenage Football Club has refused to comment, other than to say that “Teddy Sheringham continues to use his numerous contacts in the game in his quest to bring quality footballers to Stevenage. Only last week we were close to signing Gareth Southgate and another member of England’s Euro 1996 squad. We go again Saturday”. The club refused to comment on rumours that the unnamed player is Paul Gascoigne. 

Mark Hughes and Mark Hughes are not thought to be related. 

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