Cup Runneth Over for Boro

  
Hot on the heels of Tuesday night’s defeat to Cheshunt in the Herts Senior Cup, The Daily Stevenage can today reveal plans for a new cup competition, thus ensuring that Stevenage Football Club has the cup run that its board of directors promised to supporters back in the summer. 

Pork Scratchings

Building on the success of going beyond the first round in both the FA Cup and the Herts Senior Cup, the directors are keen to tap into the present feel good factor of being 18th in the league. 

As a way of giving the supporters more of what they want, the club has decided to hold the inaugural Lamex Cup on the weekend of what would have been the 3rd round of the FA Cup. 

Cheese Moments 

Ensuring that Stevenage is not knocked out in the first round, the competition will consist of a round robin format. Teams that have been considered eligible to take part include The Dun Cow, The Pig and Whistle, and Austen Arrowheads under 16s. Recognising the amateur status of these clubs, it has been agreed that Charlie Lee will play one half for each team to even it out a bit. 

Scampi Fries

As a means of pandering further to the club’s supporters, the matches will be played at Shephalbury Park, Peartree Park and Ridlins. Long-standing fan Trevor Spectacles, 31, said, “I once fingered a girl over Peartree Park behind the pavilion. And that’s not a euphemism. But I’ve never seen a competitive football match played there. I’m therefore delighted that these three grounds will be numbers 47, 48 and 49 on my list. I’m then hoping to watch Hormead Hares play at home to Bishops Stortford Swifts in February in the Royston Crow League, which will be ground number 50”.

Frazzles 

Tickets are yet to go on sale, but it is understood that Barry Webber has suggested that all those attending get a 5% discount if they help in clearing the pitches of “dog shit, chavs and rubber Johnnies”.

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