Match report: Stevenage v Crawley

Have you ever noticed how technology, and it’s progress, has adversely affected  our daily lives? For instance, there was a time when you’d loiter in a newsagents until there was nobody there but yourself.  Then you’d quickly grab the copy of Men’s World with Jo Guest in the middle with her bits all out from the top shelf, chuck some cash in the newsagent’s hand and run off home for some adult one-handed reading. 
Times moved on. 

For instance, there was a dongle that your mate would give you that was guaranteed to get you all the porn channels for free. But it didn’t. It just gave you a an electic shock. 
Similarly, people used to have pubic hair. Where did it all go?  If one compares jazz mags from 1970 to the present day, it is obvious that pubic hair has become genetically modified. Which is all well and good if one isn’t too fussed about their appearance, but if their cock is a small acorn in a veritable forest of human hair, then there is no fallback situation. 

But was this an improvement? Was this what everyone was asking for?

No. Ultimately any self respecting onanist wants the thrill of the chase. The thrill of being called a wanker by someone they once went to school with who, for whatever reason, is now working in a newsagents because it gives them a 10% discount on Thunderbird wine. But, given the benefit of seeing Jo Guest’s intimates, one couldn’t condemn anyone for spending more time than is essential draining themselves of seminal fluid whilst imagining themselves impregnating Jo Guest. 

In conclusion therefore , some lanky ginger fellow scored for Crawley and we lost one nil. 

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