Anger, Attrition and Apathy at Annual Awards Annulment 


 Stevenage Football Club has today confirmed that it has cancelled its Player of the Season award for 2015/2016. Traditionally voted for by those season ticket holders considered to still have all of their faculties, the prize is regarded as one of the most prestigious in the sporting calendar, second only to the Supporters Association, Players, and Borochat votes. 

24 hour party people

The true reasons are yet to emerge, but one theory is that nobody at the club can remember the names of all 45 players that have donned the red and white of Boro this season. An internal argument has also raged over whether Teddy Sheringham should be included on the list on the basis that he almost played in a Herts Senior Cup match. 


However, an unnamed source also pointed to the logistical problems of printing – and posting – such a large ballot paper to each and every season ticket holder. “This would have cost thousands in A3 paper, printer ink, envelopes and stamps” said the source. “The club is better off spending that money elsewhere. Such as on Jack Jebb’s wages.”

Initial concerns about potential corruption were raised last month when 27 season ticket requests came from one property in Accrington. A statement from the club read “Although we are delighted to expand our fan base to new and exciting markets, we will not allow former players to manipulate the Player of the Season vote through bulk season ticket applications. Especially when such applications are not backed up with hard cash. Whilst Mark Hughes was a vital yet ephemeral component of this season, he will only get a vote if he gives us £279.”

The Daily Stevenage also understands that Phil Wallace is concerned that there would be more people on the ballot paper than people eligible to vote. The chairman’s worry is that this would potentially result in a 15 person tie for Player of the Season, with each player receiving two votes. “There’s absolutely no way the club can afford 15 trophies,” said our source. “They’ve instead given the silverware to Thommo as kit man of the year. He tells us he’ll take it to the north east with him. Which is nice.”

Pills and thrills and bellyaches

Alan Airfix, a member of the Supporters Association, described the whole matter as “political correctness gone mad. This is worse than when the club conducted an online vote for a nickname for Graham Westley and the most popular choice was Cunty McCuntface.”

Call the cops

At the time The Daily Stevenage went to press, Thommo was believed to be travelling north up the A1.

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