Club Convinced by Cash Connivance Controversy


Stevenage Football Club has today explained its ticket pricing strategy in the wake of the Exeter City game being classified as Category A. Club spokesman Harry Flannel said “It’s clear to anyone that came today that there was an enormous gulf between us and Exeter. It was as if Barcelona, or maybe even Stoke City, had come to entertain the home crowds. Stevenage supporters went away having enjoyed a footballing feast of football, which we consider to represent great value for money. It would cost you almost double that to watch a West End show, such as School of Rock: The Musical. I also understand that Jack Black isn’t even in it. We’re definitely going to be introducing a Category AA category to matches next season, but only when the calibre of the opposition merits it. Such as when we play Yeovil. Or Accrington. ”

Game of Life

George Jelly, a lifelong supporter, told The Daily Stevenage that “the extra few quid I paid today was well worth it, even though it means I won’t be able to feed my kids tonight. I would happily pay upwards of £40 to watch us be totally outclassed by Crewe Alexandra on a freezing cold afternoon in January next season.”

Totopoly 

Brian Chuff told The Daily Stevenage that he purposely avoided Category B matches. “I’m not a fucking pikey you know” said the Metropolitan Police officer. “I want to be entertained at the football. Category B means that some really shit team will turn up. Who wants to watch two shit teams.”

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