Today, The Daily Stevenage can exclusively reveal the latest rewards available to investors in the new North Stand development. Without wasting your time or, indeed, ours with boring preamble, these rewards are as follows:
- Everyone investing a minimum of £3000 will receive a framed photo of the chairman’s car.
- Ever wanted to call a total stranger ‘mate’ or chastise someone for vaping? Then £5000 will allow you to become a steward for the day.
- £9000 will provide complimentary entry to all future Eastside Jimmy concerts.
- If you invest a minimum of £12500 you will get the opportunity to take part in the half time kicking a ball through a tyre event (or its updated equivalent) – this is restricted to 15 home games a year. It is understood that Keef, BaldockBoro and the manager of the Stevenage Boro Bluesox Under 16s (you know, the bloke who can’t watch 45 minutes of football without going for a piss) invested at this level 3 years ago.
- £15000 will enable you to have dinner at a venue of your choice (Subway, KFC or The Bingol) with the first team manager (depending on when the investment is made, this is likely to be either Darren Sarll or Graham Westley).
- £25000 will allow you to boast to all of your friends that you had £25000 sitting in the bank in the first place.